The Pain of Being Pampered

I just gave myself a present the other day. A full spa package: express facial (and NO, not the facial you're thinking, PERVERT!), a one hour massage, and a pedicure. This whole thing was 50% off at Nesbit, costing me a total of $87.50 (not including tip). You guys probably think, oh my god, and it was already 50% off??? Let me tell ya, these goddamn spa thingies are so f*cking expensive! If I was in Jakarta, I could have gotten 16 massages (or maybe more) with $87.50!

And honestly, they were not worth it.

Express facial was just exfoliating, scrubbing, and covering your face with lotion.

My masseuse was a man. A man with big hands. Big ROUGH hands. Do I need to say more?

And pedicure was the sacriest shit invented for women with virgin feet. I was in pain. The filings, the scrubbings, the giant nail cutter, AAARRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! I would never, ever, ever in my entire life, get a pedicure ever again.

Now you wonder why it was 50% off...

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A word of advise from the spa expert (a.k.a me), skip the express facial and the pedicure. Get a cute female masseuse with soft warm hands. It will make the whole difference in the world.
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